I Live In A Room Full Of Mirrors

I first got a haircut, and then I decided be like a middle schooler, but I settled on being a frog.

I’m not gonna say this is racist but, yeah it’s totally racist.

Age: Old Enough To Party
Occupation: Boring
Hobbies: Stand Up Comedy, Not Being Dead, Music
Kik: AimlessSidekick
Instagram: AimlessSidekick
Twitter: DennisMcCarson
Tumblr: jewfastjewfurious.tumblr.com

You should follow, or message or whatever you wanna do on twitter. The favor will be returned I assure you.

But yeah totally use that kik thing.

When I sleep above me is buzz lightyear and beside me is Kanye West.

I only care about your opinion if that opinion is “D2 is the best movie ever”

I’m recording a new song today. And you all should listen to it, because this time I’ve taken off has been leading up to this point.

I hope I’m not putting my foot in my mouth.

My bedroom floor is just messy enough to emulate living near a minefield and having to watch your every step.

The light in my bathroom is going out, I feel like I’m showering in a horror film. Luckily I’m not a woman so I won’t die in the shower.

Is it okay for me to say that I still miss my grandmother constantly?

It’s running and I’m raining #zombiesrun

On a serious note

I am happy with my lifestyle change. I’m kinda starting to forget what it feels like to be stuffed, I only feel it when I drink a lot and I just chalk that up to being a prerequisite to being shot faced.

Okay that’s enough of my material right now, um give this a little likey if I should do this more often.

Being caught stealing internet is the worst thing ever.

If you’re caught stealing food or something worth value you can act like you’re really hungry or you need it for your kid’s Christmas, something semi-endering. But the second you’re caught sitting in your drive way at 3 o’clock in the morning, with nothing but boxers on and a hot laptop in your lap, pity goes right out the window.

I think I’m gonna start deleting people on facebook who make boring status updates. If you’re just gonna say you’re going to get coffee just get a twitter.

Actually don’t do that either, there’s enough people on there I don’t care about already.

Just die.

Or be interesting.

I just put red gatorade in the top part of the toilet, so now when you flush it, it looks like the toilet is bleeding.